Story time.

So a bigly man, a strong man walked up to me, got down on one knee and with tears in his eyes said "oh sir, how can I help?"
I said:
We need to stop these windmills, they're killing birds and Eagles.
We need to stop the renaming of Pennsylvania to Bidenhatesus.
We need to arrest those commies that dont stand for the National Anthem including non white football players.
We need to make bigger toilets that can flush with lots of good clean fresh water. It comes free from the skies!
We need to drill everywhere, damn the environment and put coal miners back into the dark tunnels to slave away all day for peanuts.
We need to stop electric vehicles from taking all our electricity away from us. The Saudis are starving.
We need to outlaw roe v. wade, because women need to have lots of babies and get back in the kitchen.
We need to stop those brown rapists and murderers from coming into our country, build the wall...again!
We need for you to dig deep into your pockets and life savings to pay my bills and fines from my many lawsuits.
And when you're done electing me, stay away, but be ready to go to war for me against liberals. I'd join you but, but, but bone spurs and all.
Oh, and bring back the beautiful and most greatest food, the McRib all year around. Now get busy. Im going to nap in my castle.