Hunter & Joe

"Fake but accurate."

Donald J. Trump: You know and ...

Unknown: She used to be great. She’s still very beautiful.

Trump: I moved on her, actually. You know, she was down on Palm Beach. I moved on her, and I failed. I’ll admit it.

Unknown: Whoa.

Trump: I did try and her. She was married.

Unknown: That’s huge news.

Trump: No, no, Nancy. No, this was [unintelligible] — and I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping.

She wanted to get some furniture. I said, “I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.” I took her out furniture —

I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.

Billy Bush: Sheesh, your girl’s hot as shit. In the purple.

Trump: Whoa! Whoa!

Bush: Yes! The Donald has scored. Whoa, my man!

Trump: Look at you, you are a pussy.

Trump: All right, you and I will walk out.

[Silence]

Trump: Maybe it’s a different one.

Bush: It better not be the publicist. No, it’s, it’s her, it’s —

Trump: Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.

Bush: Whatever you want.

Trump: Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.

Bush: Uh, yeah, those legs, all I can see is the legs.

Trump: Oh, it looks good.

Bush: Come on shorty.

Trump: Ooh, nice legs, huh?

Bush: Oof, get out of the way, honey. Oh, that’s good legs. Go ahead.

Trump: It’s always good if you don’t fall out of the bus. Like Ford, Gerald Ford, remember?

Bush: Down below, pull the handle.

Trump: Hello, how are you? Hi!

Arianne Zucker: Hi, Mr. Trump. How are you? Pleasure to meet you.

Trump: Nice seeing you. Terrific, terrific. You know Billy Bush?

Bush: Hello, nice to see you. How you doing, Arianne?

Zucker: Doing very well, thank you. Are you ready to be a soap star?

Trump: We’re ready, let’s go. Make me a soap star.

Bush: How about a little hug for the Donald? He just got off the bus.

Zucker: Would you like a little hug, darling?

Trump: O.K., absolutely. Melania said this was O.K.

Bush: How about a little hug for the Bushy? I just got off the bus.

Zucker: Bushy, Bushy.

Bush: Here we go. Excellent. Well, you’ve got a nice co-star here.

Zucker: Yes, absolutely.

Trump: Good. After you.

[Break in video]

Trump: Come on, Billy, don’t be shy.

Bush: Soon as a beautiful woman shows up, he just, he takes off. This always happens.

Trump: Get over here, Billy.

Zucker: I’m sorry, come here.

Bush: Let the little guy in here, come on.

Zucker: Yeah, let the little guy in. How you feel now? Better? I should actually be in the middle.

Bush: It’s hard to walk next to a guy like this.

Zucker: Here, wait, hold on.

Bush: Yeah, you get in the middle, there we go.

Trump: Good, that’s better.

Zucker: This is much better. This is —

Trump: That’s better.

Zucker: [Sighs]

Bush: Now, if you had to choose honestly between one of us. Me or the Donald?

Trump: I don’t know, that’s tough competition.

Zucker: That’s some pressure right there.

Bush: Seriously, if you had — if you had to take one of us as a date.

Zucker: I have to take the Fifth on that one.

Bush: Really?

Zucker: Yup — I’ll take both.

Trump: Which way?

Zucker: Make a right. Here we go. [inaudible]

Bush: Here he goes. I’m gonna leave you here.

Trump: O.K.

Bush: Give me my microphone.

Trump: O.K. Oh, you’re finished?

Bush: You’re my man, yeah.

Trump: Oh, good.

Bush: I’m gonna go do our show.

Zucker: Oh, you wanna reset? O.K.

He has no idea that alleged sexual conquests and taking millions of dollars over the years while VP from the COMMUNIST Chinese government are not comparable.
He cannot remember that sex talk and scandals went away in the 1990s with Bill Clinton.  
Thinking speedy might do much better over in the Music General or On the Tube threads.

I was just showing you dopes the difference between aches make believe fantasy dialogue and something that really really happened, on film and everything.
I see butler had to comment on her post as fake but accurate. Care to tell the deplorables here what I posted was real and accurate?

Oh, and sexual conquests doesn't mean paying for hookers in your hotel room.

When we left off last time Hunter was all set to travel on an influence peddling trip to Ukraine, eager to prove to his mob boss father, Joe, he could get the job done
But before leaving, the two got into a tense exchange after Joe brought up a few of his ne'er-do-well son's past gaffes, indiscretions, and screw ups
As we rejoin the onversation, Joe is telling an old story he's probably told a thousand times before
Hunter meanwhile waits anxiously for his ride to take him to the airport


Joe: So once upon a time at the University of Delaware there was a flanker on the football team named Joe Biden...
Hunter: Oh, geez. Here we go
Joe: He wasn't a great athlete. Just a walk on. No, really! But he was a tough sonofabitch, and he worked hard every day...
Hunter: Dad, I'm not in the mood for this 
Joe: Not that a lazy jack*ss like you you would know what hard work is...
Hunter: And no time for more insults either. F*ck you
Joe: Delaware was undefeated that year and went on to beat Grambling in the Rose Bowl...
Hunter: Dad, I have a lot on my mind right now
Joe: Or maybe it was the Orange Bowl. I forget actually...
Hunter: Gee, shocker
Joe: But young Joe caught the game winning TD that day...
Hunter: Even if this were true, and it isn't...
Joe: One handed, behind his back with four defenders draped all over him...
Hunter: Okay, now I have officially heard everything
Joe: After the game he started flirting with a black cheerleader from the other team...
Hunter: Dad, please
Joe: Of course all the cheerleaders on Grambling were black, so when I say "black heerleader", I'm being redundant
Hunter: *looks out window* Hey, my ride is here! Yay!
Joe: Her name was Wyomia, and she had giant...you know...*cups both of his hands and holds them out front of him*...
Hunter: Okay, I'm leaving
Joe: But anyway when nobody was looking, they snuck behind the bleachers...
Hunter: Bye, Dad. Don't wanna miss my flight
Joe: One thing led to another...
Hunter: Dad, I have to go
Joe: And before you know it...
Hunter: DAD! I HAFTA GO!
Joe: Huh? Go where? You just got here
Hunter: To the AIRPORT! What the hell?
Joe: What are you yelling for?
Hunter: I'M NOT YELLING!!
Joe:I thought we were gonna play cribbage together
Hunter: No, Dad. I'm headed to Ukraine. Hello?
Joe: Hi! I'm Joe Biden, and I approve this message...
Hunter: Oh, FFS. Not again:( *slaps Joe across face*
Joe: Whoa! *stunned*
Hunter: Sorry, Dad! Didn't mean to hit you so hard this time!
Joe: *shakes head as if waking from a daydream*
Hunter: You okay, Pops?
Joe: Sh*t! I guess I had another "moment", huh, son? Sorry about that
Hunter: That's alright. I'm used to them by now
Joe: My mind...it's playing tricks on me again today
Hunter: Yeah, well, why should today be different from any other day?
Joe: I musta forgot to drink my SuperBeets this morning...

[End of part 2]

Right, because a history of lying about abuse has no bearing on accusations of abuse. Got it.

Right, right, right.... the "fake baby voice".... total give away. You got me there. And liars never seem genuine, do they? I mean not after lying about things in the past.

Not sure what you're talking about with the whole "nefarious Russian plot 30 years in the making" thing.

Narrator: Russia had nothing to do with Hillary's missing emails. She had her team review the emails that were under subpoena and remove 30,000 of them that were embarrassing or illegal in some way.

If Russia actually DID have them, it would have been solely due to Hillary's decision to hide her communications from potential FOIA requests and her incomitance in keeping them secure.

It looks like Butlers obsession with Hillarys emails will haunt him to the grave. Frankly I cant think of anything more boring than reading emails for things like lunch plans and Chelseas wedding details. But hey, some people cant afford Netflix.

Maybe he's looking for that one email where she says the trailer truck with all the south american children to sell is arriving at Atomic Pizza at high noon.

Nah, no one is that stupid...um..right?

Hey, if he can get someone to pay him to post his drivel, I may have a new found respect for the shyster. Anyone who wants to pay me for posting some unfounded silly crap that means nothing to no one, gimme a call. In the time of this trump virus, every extra penny helps.

Of course we have no actual proof that the emails that Hillary had deleted illegally were about "lunch plans and Chelsea's wedding" except the word of a woman who lied to the faces of the parents whose sons died in Benghazi due to her own negligence.

Uh huh...

Both of these hoaxes have been debunked. Who's lying?